BRADADADADADADOOOOM!
Is the sound of the Alpha Beam.
Hawkgirl places the Absorbascon contact pads on Lightseid's temples, allowing him to absorb the thoughts of others, and thinks very hard!
Lightseid snaps awake. The Alpha Beams go in random directions, then once he wakes up, they settle on Hawkgirl and fly right at her!
ZZZAP!
Hawkgirl is now on Apokolips, home of Darkseid. Darkseid's Omega Beam scatters your atoms all across the universe, in equal distances from Apokolips. So Lightseid's Alpha Beam sends you to a distance of zero from Apokolips.
She is in Armaghetto, the steaming ruined shantytown of the Hunger Dogs, Darkseid's work force. Verman Vunderbar, the Minister of Terror, confronts her with his black monocle gleaming from below his severe Prussian haircut.
"A superhero? AGAIN? When will you people learn, there is no escape from Apokolips! Para-demons! SEIZE THE INTRUDER!"
Dragon-faced ape men with mechanical golden wings soar aloft. These are the Para-demons, Darkseid's elite enforcers, made as terrifying and capable as his dark imagination can devise!
Although, they may have been crafted in that order: terrifying, THEN capable. Perhaps their visage is worse than their violence ...
Absolutely dripping with Valkyrian similarities, Hawkgirl gives a screaming, hawk-like war cry and (attempts) to fly circles around the Para-demons, using her mace to smash them. Heck, the forces of Thor might even be involved, given the nature of the mace.
ReplyDeletePara-demons are incredibly scary. No one disputes that.
DeleteBut they aren't very agile, in the air at any rate.
Hawkgirl swings, dips, slides sideways, swoops, dodges, and clocks every Parademon one by one with her electrified stun-mace, otherwise a perfect duplicate of the Holy Water Sprinkler of the Teutonic Knights, c.1200-1350 AD.*
Verman Vunderbar is taken aback. He peers through his black monocle, as if unable to believe that his elite storm force is getting its lizard butt kicked.
"A true military genius knows when to adapt his plans!" he assures himself, and the thousands of Hunger Dogs grimly watching. "Yes, I shall adapt ... and summon Botanifex, the vegetable executioner, and Bi-Clops, the two-eyed giant!"
He has a short golden baton in his hand. Now he turns both ends, causing them to flash blue and green, sending out visible waves of Kirby Energy to summon his minions!
The last remaining para-demon regrets his limited life choices before Hawkgirl steers him into the side of a crumbling Armaghetto tenement.
"Hold!" commands another voice. A Neapolitan bravo with rapier and smallsword, disc-shaped feathered cap and slashed hose, calls out from an intersection. Behind him is a squad of purple-uniformed mutants with spinning saw blades for hands.
"Kanto!" exclaims Verman Vunderbar. "And across the Lost Highway, clearly inside Armaghetto! But what of the truce?"
"The truce, my dear Vunderbar, lies not in ourselves, but in the stars," Kanto replies. "And the stars have seen fit to gift me this day with armed allies, to wit, Khundish flesh-reapers. Now that I am stronger, I no longer need the truce. So strong am I, in fact, that I am forgoing the advantage of a surprise attack, and calling you out before I separate your monocle-holder from your shoulders."
"Curses!" curses Verman Vunderbar. "Indeed, you WOULD have attacked by surprise, had you any doubt in your mind of your effortless victory!"
"But I, too, Kanto the Poet-Assassin, have friends in the highest of places. Soon my own allies from space, the Hawk Gestapo of dreaded Thanagar, will descend, and if they find me dead ..."
Kanto laughs, loud and long.
"Then they will have to make other alliances, won't they?"
*Hawk Fact!
Hawkgirl is puzzled. "Mom and Dad can be pretty strict but I'd never call them Gestapo! In fact, they'd be really insulted by that, Mr. Wonderful Vermin."
ReplyDeleteShe does a very quick ceremonial bow before attacking him with her other weapon. A Thanagarian blade.